Me Too...Never Again

Yesterday I opened my heart, I shared my truth and I told my story. It was a moment where I felt fully present in my authentic self. Where I knew my light shinned, was received and in the process, others illuminated even brighter. It was magic, it was sacred. When I think about the gifts I accepted from others I am humbled. The gifts of their stories, their tears, the impact my words had on them, their hugs and their willingness to know me better. But the largest gift for me was having the opportunity to see what they saw. To be reminded of my strength, wisdom, humility, raw vulnerability and my transformation.

Sharing the story of my traumas is never easy. But every time I do it, some layer inside me heals. Yesterday on Facebook “Me Too” spread like wild fire. Survivors claiming sexual harassment, assault and rape. Studies show that 25% of college men have admitted that they would rape a woman if they could get away with it. This shows without a doubt, sexual assault is a man’s issue, an issue with masculinity. Yet woman, in a public form willingly admitted our horrors and men sat silent. I delayed saying “Me Too” because I thought why is it on the survivors to always bring awareness, fight and share our trauma. But I saw a man post in support of all the survivors and he spoke of his trauma from loving survivors himself. When I saw that, I felt hope. I was ready to once again own my trauma because survivors were not alone. But he was only one man. One man. 

I so wish the voices of men would be heard today. That they would own being part of the change. I want to hear men challenge rape culture with every ounce of their being. It’s not because you have a mother, daughter or sister, it’s because you are a human being. Survivors eyes are on you...waiting, waiting, waiting. When will men step up? Being a good guy, never assaulting a woman, is not enough. Your voice is needed on social media, in the locker room, in how you talk to young boys, in what you support with your money, in how you own your feelings, in how you vote and in how you choose to love. Did you sit quite when you saw someone in a vulnerable position? Did you make that rape joke? Did you laugh?  Did you questions a women's intention from the clothing she wore, the way she danced, the drinks she drank? Have you always asked for affirmative verbal consent? We know with the number of women who have been assaulted, a lot of men themselves have assaulted. Maybe you once did something you’re not proud of. Maybe you think owning that will make you lose the respect of those around you. Let me tell you, when I hear a man claim his wrongs, as a survivor, I heal. But if you stay quiet, if you know you have hurt another and you don’t fight the system so another is not hurt, then I have no respect for you. The crime of your silence is the largest of all. This is on all men. We are waiting.

So…Me Fucking Too. I have been sexually abused, raped and sexually harassed countless times. I am the story of women. I will continue to scream “ME TOO” but will it be returned with “Never Again”?

Walking in the Light

A theme of my life has always been radical honesty. Above any characteristic a person could hold, I respect people who can share their authentic self, no matter how vulnerable they must be to do so. If there is a language of the Light that is it. When we speak our truth and it is received in sacred space, a mystical circle is completed that produces a power so large it can transform energy. Lately I have been contemplating prayer, how it is done, what is said or unsaid, its function, ect. Like most of my spiritual work, I have had to translate religion and dogma into what I know to be true for myself. When I pray I have only three objectives. First to practice deep gratitude for all that I have received. Second to share my truth and let it be received from the Light that Flows Through All That Is. Third to always look for ways to remain in the Light that guides me. 

Great Spirit,

I'm only beginning to comprehend all of what you are. But this I know.

I see you every time I see the light shining through the trees.

I feel you every time a sunset takes my breath away. 

I hear you every time I open myself to the wonder of life.

I am blessed by you every time my heart fills with love. 

I doubt you only when I try to understand you in my mind. 

You belong in my heart, in the light, in the sound of children and the bud of spring.

You are the light that holds me. When I embrace you I feel peace, love and strength.

Great Spirit show me the way to serenity. Light my path with your wisdom. Free me from hate, greed, selfishness and discontent so I may offer myself to the light that flows through All That Is. I welcome your loving embrace. May your waters cleanse my soul and shine my way today and every day.

Amen