To Feel Again

I’m not sure when it began, the numbing, the isolation, the depression 

And I’m not sure it matters

I have been living a life on auto pilot, forgetting that life is lived in the present

When one does not want to feel, they can find about anything to avoid it

There is an ache in my chest that strangles my breath

A soul held captive in a body living in a hostile environment

They say addiction is a family disease, taking three generations to resolve

My family tells its story

I guess it was there all along but now the virus has taken hold

People ask me how long I have been withholding 

It’s not an action that can be calculated, it’s a way of life

Baby steps taken each day following a promise

My body absent of alcohol it found itself panicked for relief

Warping all crutches to bag for mercy

But tonight my soul sang

In loving embrace, I opened, I felt and I did not resist

I basked in the sensation of joy and hope for a journey unresolved

Discovering hidden identity

The Universe showing the blind its path

I feel you, I see you, I listen

I’m humbled